this week's kinda hectic for me. soon, i need to go somewhere for some money matters. a lot preparations need to be done and i want to settle it all within this week.
i got many friends. but i still feel lonely. i wish i have someone special who i care and love and she/he does the same to me. many people look up on me, idolise me and adore me but i felt nothing. i don't think i am (if) any special. even if i am any special, i don't know what is special about me. i don't think im perfect physically, yet there are few people who wanted me so bad. a girl wanted to be my gf, another girls wanted to hook up with me, and another boy wanted me to fuck him so bad! i really don't understand them, what did they see on me? they said that im cute, that im good looking guy, but i never see i am. it's always people who approached me first, i never made any first move until with this current guy. so i don't think im any good starter.
i talked with this guy (who wanted me to fuck him) and asked him what's special about me. he told me it was my personality that made me 'hot'. am i really hot? i don't think so. but there's one thing for sure, i got a lot friends. different kind of friends. from different countries. from different races, from different religions ... a good mix of friends.
i wish i could do more ... i have more to do ... but with current situation, i am not sure where to go. i could go left, i could fo right ... or i could end my own life.
i envy people who had stable relationship with their loved ones. i don't understand people can love and break. i don't understand why so many people failed to be faithful.
well, i am not perfect either so i could do the same thing. i wish i could see my own life as i see other's life so i can change and make better my life.
adam lambert just sang 'just don't give up' on my mp3 player ...
There comes a time when you must stand alone.
ReplyDeleteJay darling
u must feel confident enough within urself to follow ur own dreams.
u must be willing to make sacrifices.
u must be capable of changing and rearranging ur priorities so that ur final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
There are times when u must take a few extra chances and create ur own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make ur life better.
Be confident enough that u won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate urself by allowing urself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find ur true sense of purpose in this life.
Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's ur sunlight that should lead the way.
With Love...