i thought i could quit him. but i can't. i've deleted him on my ym and fb, yet i still think about him everyday. and today's even worse, i 'accidentally' met him and his gf during bfast. i didn't notice them coming, but i think he must have seen me before i noticed them. he smiled slightly when our eyes met. luckily i already finished my plate, so i took off silently without looking bck.
silly and stupid right? i should hv move on and forget abt him. i want to, but i can't, because he'll be around for another two three years so whether i like it or not, im gonna meet and see him (and his gf) somewhere sometimes.
well .. on a bright side (or probably another doom?), i got this another guy to look at. silly really, but i actually 'met' him many times already, and he always give me this kinda weird look everytime we meet. i remember the first time we 'saw' each other it was in an office. he looked kinda lost so i tried to help him. we spoke little. the second time we met was at a food court, i wasn't really looking at him but i noticed he was kinda giving me a strange 'look' so i 'stared' at him bck. from that moment, everytime we meet, he'll give me the same look - slight glimpse but kinda deep. i dunno how to describe it but it just feel different.
nothing to expect though, coz he might just feel weird that i always look at him. and he might not what i want him to be. or worse, he might just get irritated and annoyed with my constant 'stare'. no i don't stare at him, just slight eye contact.
ok, probably i just need to focus on other thing. like work maybe. i wish i don't have these feelings to other guys. i wish i could get rid of it completely. i wish i could be someone else. but i won't be, coz i am what i am. whether i like myself or not, i will always be me.
im bck. still alive. sorry for disappearing so long.
i moved out from my old place. i bought a new car, small car it is. it's cheap but i am happy. well, im happy for just that .. my personal side hasn't changed much. my last post was on last march, now it's november but yet i am still stuck with these stupid emotional things.
i don't meet him (refer to my previous posts) anymore. he's still around but i no longer want to do anything with him. i deleted him on my ym (ignored too) and facebook (just recently). our last chat was two weeks ago and although nothing really happened between us, i just made the decision to completely erase him. our last chat was nothing really, he just asked how i am and what im doing and i just replied ok and other stuff ... no bitching, no angry tone nothing whatsoever ...
i think the gal that was with him last time is officially his gf now. he drives her car around, and even went to her hometown. nobody told me but i got the clue from our last chat (that he went to her hometown).
ok enough about them ... i feel like stalking already ... and it's stupid too.
what else? ... well i met new friends. foreign friends, but they're nice. im glad i met them. most of my friends now are foreigners. it's funny some locals have started assuming that i am a foreigner too!
ok so enough post this time. there's a lot in my mind but i just don't know where to start so i just ramble.
p/s. sorry for my bad english. english isn't my 1st or even 2nd language so i apologise for any bad words (this post and my previous).