Thursday, November 18, 2010

dog and cat

i feel like a dog abandoned by its owner for a cat.

the dog knows it can't transform into a cat to make his owner love him again.

so the dog decided to move on and hope for a new owner.

but he knows it'll be alright too to be a stray, without owner ...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

coffin ramble


i thought i could quit him. but i can't. i've deleted him on my ym and fb, yet i still think about him everyday. and today's even worse, i 'accidentally' met him and his gf during bfast. i didn't notice them coming, but i think he must have seen me before i noticed them. he smiled slightly when our eyes met. luckily i already finished my plate, so i took off silently without looking bck.

silly and stupid right? i should hv move on and forget abt him. i want to, but i can't, because he'll be around for another two three years so whether i like it or not, im gonna meet and see him (and his gf) somewhere sometimes.

well .. on a bright side (or probably another doom?), i got this another guy to look at. silly really, but i actually 'met' him many times already, and he always give me this kinda weird look everytime we meet. i remember the first time we 'saw' each other it was in an office. he looked kinda lost so i tried to help him. we spoke little. the second time we met was at a food court, i wasn't really looking at him but i noticed he was kinda giving me a strange 'look' so i 'stared' at him bck. from that moment, everytime we meet, he'll give me the same look - slight glimpse but kinda deep. i dunno how to describe it but it just feel different.

nothing to expect though, coz he might just feel weird that i always look at him. and he might not what i want him to be. or worse, he might just get irritated and annoyed with my constant 'stare'. no i don't stare at him, just slight eye contact.

ok, probably i just need to focus on other thing. like work maybe. i wish i don't have these feelings to other guys. i wish i could get rid of it completely. i wish i could be someone else. but i won't be, coz i am what i am. whether i like myself or not, i will always be me.

still ... the coffin isn't really far ...

don't worry, im not going to do stupid thing.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

im back

hey guys ...

im bck. still alive. sorry for disappearing so long.

i moved out from my old place. i bought a new car, small car it is. it's cheap but i am happy. well, im happy for just that .. my personal side hasn't changed much. my last post was on last march, now it's november but yet i am still stuck with these stupid emotional things.

i don't meet him (refer to my previous posts) anymore. he's still around but i no longer want to do anything with him. i deleted him on my ym (ignored too) and facebook (just recently). our last chat was two weeks ago and although nothing really happened between us, i just made the decision to completely erase him. our last chat was nothing really, he just asked how i am and what im doing and i just replied ok and other stuff ... no bitching, no angry tone nothing whatsoever ...

i think the gal that was with him last time is officially his gf now. he drives her car around, and even went to her hometown. nobody told me but i got the clue from our last chat (that he went to her hometown).

ok enough about them ... i feel like stalking already ... and it's stupid too.

what else? ... well i met new friends. foreign friends, but they're nice. im glad i met them. most of my friends now are foreigners. it's funny some locals have started assuming that i am a foreigner too!

ok so enough post this time. there's a lot in my mind but i just don't know where to start so i just ramble.

p/s. sorry for my bad english. english isn't my 1st or even 2nd language so i apologise for any bad words (this post and my previous).