sigh.
i thought i could quit him. but i can't. i've deleted him on my ym and fb, yet i still think about him everyday. and today's even worse, i 'accidentally' met him and his gf during bfast. i didn't notice them coming, but i think he must have seen me before i noticed them. he smiled slightly when our eyes met. luckily i already finished my plate, so i took off silently without looking bck.
silly and stupid right? i should hv move on and forget abt him. i want to, but i can't, because he'll be around for another two three years so whether i like it or not, im gonna meet and see him (and his gf) somewhere sometimes.
well .. on a bright side (or probably another doom?), i got this another guy to look at. silly really, but i actually 'met' him many times already, and he always give me this kinda weird look everytime we meet. i remember the first time we 'saw' each other it was in an office. he looked kinda lost so i tried to help him. we spoke little. the second time we met was at a food court, i wasn't really looking at him but i noticed he was kinda giving me a strange 'look' so i 'stared' at him bck. from that moment, everytime we meet, he'll give me the same look - slight glimpse but kinda deep. i dunno how to describe it but it just feel different.
nothing to expect though, coz he might just feel weird that i always look at him. and he might not what i want him to be. or worse, he might just get irritated and annoyed with my constant 'stare'. no i don't stare at him, just slight eye contact.
ok, probably i just need to focus on other thing. like work maybe. i wish i don't have these feelings to other guys. i wish i could get rid of it completely. i wish i could be someone else. but i won't be, coz i am what i am. whether i like myself or not, i will always be me.
still ... the coffin isn't really far ...
don't worry, im not going to do stupid thing.
